Types of Facebook Users

Wael Alhathal Dustin Hopkins English A100 13 December 2012 What type of Facebook-er be you? Living in the 21st century, Facebook has pretty much taking over our sphere. We have r each(prenominal)ed a point where we cerebrate that if you do not have a Facebook, past you do not have a life. About hundreds of people yoke Facebook either day, making it ane of the some visited websites in the world, with somewhat 585 trillion active members. 585 millionYou might think that this is too much, solely in fact, there are actually four main categories of Facebook users in the worldannoying-Facebook-girl, the Simon-Cowell, the attention-seeking-whore, and the Im-too-cool-for-Facebook. Each and every user in these categories specializes in a particular way of participating on Facebook a way of modify their statuses, how they comment, how many an(prenominal) pictures they upload every day, and how often they spend their time on Facebook. If you have an annoying-Facebook-girl on your friends list, deactivate your account right nowThe main feature of the annoying-Facebook-girl, other than being just plain obnoxious, is the gift to modify her status every few hours with crap no one truly cares about. Her name will blow up on your news move over in a matter of seconds. The most common words utilise in their statuses are OMG or OH EM GEE They tend to upload not just a single photo, but albums of crappy pictures in a day. A typical annoying-facebook-girl would upload an album with 200 or more pictures titled Mcdonaldz wd my Bffz<333 or OMGPArtaAayYy. They are creatures with wild imaginations they sewer turn an ordinary restroom into a photo-shoot studio their relationship statuses are married or engaged to their best friends, and they all share a mutual obsession with Justin Bieber, Twilight, and the boys from One Direction. These creatures change their profile pictures almost every other day their famous picture pose is the repulsive besiege facethey sti ck their lips out and take a picture attached to a mirror, preferably the bathroom mirror.An annoying-Facebook-girls favorite quote is YOLOYou solitary(prenominal) Live Once, which gives them an excuse to do irrational and foolish stuff cerebration they wont be judged. The second category of Facebook users are the Simon-Cowells, likewise make don as the Critics. They are the trolls of the Internet. The Simon-Cowells are harsh and judgmental criticizers they always have something negative to say and can never keep out the hell up. They claim that Facebook is an open society and that they need to express their perspicacity no matter what.The Simon-Cowells are the annoying-Facebook-girls worst enemy. The Simon-Cowells tend to criticize the annoying-Facebook-girls status updates, photos, and lifestyle. The individuals in this category believe in freedom of speech more than anything else their most famous sideboard is If you dont like my opinion then just unfriend me. You know t hat you have a Simon-Cowell on your friends list when he or she comments in the first few seconds after you update a status or upload a picture with a sarcastic comment or harsh statement.Their main objective on Facebook is to demean people, humiliate them, and glide slope them. In reality, a Simon-Cowell is a coward behind a keyboard. His lifelessness contributes to his plague towards people they have no friends and most probably live in their parents basement. A Simon-Cowell is an insecure individual that feels good about him or herself when they criticize othersthey have nothing haughty to say. The best proficiency to avoid these trolls is to stop arguing with them and delete their cruel comments because they feed tucker out through the anger of others.The third category, which is growing rapidly nowadays, is the attention-seeking-whore. These are the people who would do anything to add up attention. Most of them are sick of their actual lives therefore, they join Facebook to make believe fake popularity on the Internet and seek the attention that is not provided for them in reality, mainly because they are fugly fucking ugly. The most common act of an attention-seeking-whore is uploading a picture of herself either showing parts of her boobs or posing for a booty-pop-picturebending their knees and popping their butts next to a mirror.Her main objective on Facebook is to gain as many likes and get as much positive feedback as possible therefore, they caption their photos as Like if you think Im hot or comment if you wanna bang me. An attention-seeking-whore would never stigmatize anything on peoples wall, or reply to anyones comments nor inboxes playing hard to get that is. They spent most if their time on Facebook checking how many likes they got and reading the comments left by perverts, with a frown on their miserable-fake-multicolored faces. The break down category is commonly known among guys, which is the Im-too-cool-for-Facebook. Nobody kn ows the reason why these people even have an account in the first place. In this category, the individuals tend to rarely update their statuses or post pictures nevertheless, they spend a lot of time checking their Facebooks newsfeed (secretly). They have all the gossip, they know what everyone is doing, but no one knows anything about them. They are like invisible ghosts catching on an active community. The most shared characteristic of the Im-too-cool-for-Facebook is their profile pictures a photo of a car, most probably the car of their dreams.The most common status update for the Im-too-cool-for-Facebook is Facebook sucks Am gonna deactivate concisely lol or they sometimes act all hipster-ish, saying, Facebook is too mainstream I switched to chirp or Instagram. But, in fact, their secret affection for Facebook far exceeds the amount of pictures annoying-Facebook-girl uploads in a day. As you can tell, 585 million is not that much when you discriminate them into smaller grou ps. So, what type of Facebook-er are you? Next time you are on Facebook (which is most likely everyday), try sitting down and identifying which category each of your friends fit in.Even better, why not play a drinking mealy? You have to drink a shot of tequila every time an Annoying-Facebook-girl says OMG in her comments. If you are not in the drinking scene you can get super stoned and start an in-depth comment war with a Simon Cowell. If one day your horny and you see an attention-seeking-whore posting a picture, why not leave a nice comment about her boobies (You will get laid easily). Last but not least, comment on an Im-too-cool-for-Facebooks car-profile-picture, Oh my gosh, is this your car? Or are you a transformer like in the movie? it really pisses them off. Have fun